Picture I made

I suck at art, but occasionally I make something really good.
http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/6378/picimade001.jpg
It didn't upload with the link operator.

I hope I didn't violate anything posting a horse with pants.

Its a sketch of a sketch (Not a trace)of two characters from the webcomic MSPaintAdventures, and I messed with the horse enough to claim it as my own.

Dave and Maplehoof (Or DadHoof now) are just plain bursting flippant awesome.

Malapropisms (Read this aloud for maximum effect)

Let's brainscorn some Malapropisms!
Hairs the obvious ones like,"Let us Sew you to your Sheets" (Let us Snow you to your Seets silly pepole)and "A penny Shaved is a penny Learned".
Pen you have the Rot-sew-obvious ones, like "Would you Hike an Ordove?" (you need a Japenny Ascent for that one)or "Peter Packed a pickle Pezzers" (Don't know how you'll say that one).
Dumb times I think of Hose people who come to read this and Wondoor, do Hay like it? It Seams to be hostly jokes working on knowledge of Eenglesh. Sow I decided to look at Malaproper Manners in other countries:
In Russian, the Phase, "Listen to the Blabbing Brook" Looks like this.
Слушайте болтать Брук
The correct way to Spray it would be "Babbling", but it Russian it sounds totally different than the above example, so I now that Engrish Malapropism will make no Cents.
Слушайте журчащий ручеек

So I looked a Russian Malapropism up.
Note this failed due to distinct LACK of examples. On wikipedia, I Fund more malapropisms but only one with any REAL relevance.

This next Praise is copied from Wikepedia, not my work.
Examples in the Russian language
* The word rynda for "ship's bell". The English phrase "Ring the bell!" was heard by Russian seamen as "Ryndu bey!", i.e., "Hit the rynda", rynda being the word for the tsar's bodyguard. Accordingly, the phrase "to hit the rynda" was used to mean "to signal time with the ship's bell", and later the bell itself has become commonly known as ship's "rynda".

What I think Wikepedia is trying to say is "we don't make this Four Russians in English Idiot!"

So I went to Russian Translation. But there was no Malapropismos! Which leads me Too... Espanol Wikipedia.
The following is a Malapropism in Spanish:
«Me gustan los toreros que están en el candelabro»
"I like the matadors who are in the chandelier"

What Ward was the Malapropism?

Wikipedia says, Candlestick. So what do these words look like next to each other?

Nothing Like each other. But a Bull or a Killer or whatever a 'Matador' is, it boils down to this. The internet has no Russian Malapropisms.

*Comments Loved By All*

Accosiated Writing Nice and claen and not written like a fourth grader or whatever grade writes like that.

so associative writing is just where I talk on the first thing that comes to my mind and the thing that's on my mind now is this stupid typing method. it is faster than writing normally if i don't want to get a cramp but its really annoying to type perfect with it. i use two fingers, you know. in fact, I'm not very sure whether i should peer edit this with myself. peer editing using my own fingers isn't an appropriate term is is it more like just editing at that point wow i type my thoughts slow I'm spending way too mush time ctchoing(?) up with my brain I'm lucky I'm able to keep up so well i wonder if i accidentally messed something up with that control key dunno i didn't thank goodness oh hey look I'm not thinking of maybe I am now is that a turtle? no its just a keyboard and a slow typist. duh you freaking idiot. you can make butter without cracking eggs or was it cracking milk i can mo longer tall if I'm thinking or trying to think my ear hurts lemme scratch it real quick...ah that feels better now it s back wait a sec. while i was gone for a sec i looked and wondered how much extra letters are i here and how many have i added and now i thou8gh about writing in third person but that would be kinda of hard because trying to write in third person is like trying to nail jelly no someone did that peanut better now it sounds like I'm trying too hard to a wall. wow I'm hearing myself think this and i must be some total moron, using ocxyparadoxyisma (???) or malapropsies to do something I learned the malaproper (Its malapropism) from TV tropes i hope you waste hours of your time (I don't, don't know why I wrote that) being duped into awesome i don't have time for this. Activate flying powers PCH00000000! O h cool that's 8 0's not trying.. That would be so awesome to be Vriska but that's a reference no one seems to get oh look a b now I'm just rsmblong(rambling, but the way I spelt it is way funnier) or maybe you are drunk as you read this and I am a figment of a friends imagination hi Yancey if you read this oh look at the time i have to get going to whatever i need to get going too i should probable make two versions of this, on messy and one not. good bye!

*Please tell me if I missed any more things in the comments.

Associative writing one or 2 or something along those lines (the messy version)

so accosiative writing is juast h=where I talk on the fisrt thing that comes to my ming and the thing thats on my ming noe is this stupid typing method. it bsa faster than writing normally if i don't want to get a cramp but its really annoying yo type perfect with it. i use to fingers, you know. in fact, i m not very sure whetehr i should peer edit this with myself. peer editing using my own fingers isn't an approptriate term is is it mor like just editing at that poit wow i type my thoughts sloiw im spending way too mush time ctchoing up with m bran im lucky im able to keep up so well i wonder if i accidentally mmessed something up with that contrl key dno i didn't thank goodness oh hey lookm im not thingking of maybe I am now isthat a turtle? no its just a keyboard and a slow typist. duh you freaking idiot. you can make butter without cracking eggs or was it cracking milk i can mo longer tall if im thinking or trying to think my ear hurst lemme scratch it real quick...ah that feels better now it s back wait a sec. while i was gone for a sec i looked and wonered how much extra letters are i hereand how many have i added and now i thou8gh about writung in third person but that would be kina of hard because thrying to wirte in third person is like trying to nail jelly no someone did that peanut better now it sounds like im trying too hard to a wall. wow im haring myself think this and i must be some to atl moron, using ocxy paradoxyisma or malapropsies to do something I lirned the malaproper from tv trope i hope you waste hours of you r time being duped in to awesome i don't have time for this. Activate flying powers PCH00000000! O h cool thats 8 0's not trying.. That would be so wawesome to be vriska but thats a reference no onwe seems to get ohh look a b now i'm just rsmblong or maybe you are drunk as you read this and I am a figment of a friends imagination hi yancey if you read this oh look at the time i have to het going to whatever i need to egte going too i sould probable make two versions of this, on messy adn= one not. good bye!

Now lets pretend I'm an animal!

"Meow" I say as I walk across a street. The monsters heading my way never listen to reason. Time and time again, I tell them to stop so I can get by without getting stomped on, but they just roar by, some making weird chattering noise and others releasing sounds that scare me. The things that feed me are eaten by this monster then spit out when it stops to rest. I watch them feed the beasts just like they feed us. At least I think they're being fed. Otherwise they go for miles without food. And the first one makes more sense. I itch my collar. Collars are so itchy. Sometimes I wonder why my collar is so itchy. I always try to remove it but the things just put it back on. I think it's to show that they feed me and house me. They are always so competitive. It's like they must feed me or they are exiled. I use the sand to go to the bathroom, and I use their water, and I take up time by trying to get them to do things, and all they do for me is put an itchy collar on me. Things are so rude.

The writing of gerbils.

I wonder why anyone would write a journal about gerbils. I can understand a gerbil writing in journals, but a journal about gerbils? That person obviously has no life to be writing about those things. Maybe a journal written in gerbil? That just doesn't work because gerbils don't have a pencil the right size for it. If it did, that would also require it to spend hours trying to remember how to write a spoken language. What kind of gerbil has that time? They're too busy trying to rule the world. I think a gerbil must not be very successful though. I mean, who owns a journal? Whoa wait not a gerbil a journal. I mean not a gerbil a journal. No wait that failed too. Let's just go back a few sentences and try again. Nobody owns a gerbil. That's almost a fact. Gerbils just aren't that popular in California. I mean, chinchillas: so cute you have a friendship anyeurism. But gerbils? Maybe a little cute but not very. So let me sum up my incredibly long journal for you: Gerbils don't make good writers.

Anywhere in the existing world?

If I could go anywhere, I wouldn't be wasting it going just ANYWHERE. I mean sure, maybe if one day I decided that I don't want to pay my own plane fare, sure this ability would work. But otherwise, I'd want it to get me out of life threatening trouble. I mean, what good is a power if it can't get you out of trouble?
But I ramble. Let's set up the hypothetical situation that I could travel anywhere anytime infinitely. That way I can make a list of places I'd want to go.
First off, I'd love to visit every continent once. Perhaps on boat, not using the power, because then I can say to people, "I've sailed the oceans and seas, and visited every continent". That way I'll sound, look, and probably be more experienced to others.
I would love to be in France and try a hot-air balloon. Those things look very fun.
I would like to visit Sydney and visit the harbor, perhaps maybe go in deeper into Australia and see some of the underground opal cave-houses in the desert. I wouldn't like to be there too long though.
I could probably have some fun in Japan, maybe even live there in the rich culture for a while.
I wish to visit Canada again. I have dead relatives there.(:D)
Egypt might make for some good stories to tell relatives.
Denmark and Finland.
That's all the places I feel I need to go to.